I’ve published 25 guides. 24 of them are doing brilliantly. But students don’t like one one of them. It hurts.
So, I’m rewriting it.
This is a sample chapter. I’d love some feedback to see if it is any good, and to find ways to improve it.
Every chapter starts with a detailed outline of the whole plot. Like this:
Vomit and the Viking
Anna loves to party, who doesn’t? She’s doing A levels. One Saturday, she goes to a house party. It’s being given by one of the cool girls, Saskia, who is clever, beautiful and rich. But once she gets to the party, there is only one thing Anna wants more than to impress Saskia, and that is to hook up with Sven, the tall, blonde Viking type, brilliant smile, blue eyes, sculpted muscles, cool fashion sense. He doesn’t go to their sixth from college. He’s a friend of Saskia’s from who knows where.
Anna tries everything, tossing her hair, laughing ostentatiously, making eye contact across the room, then trying to talk to him. But Sven has no chat and doesn’t take any of her hints. Anna drinks more and more, and though she flirts with other boys, none of them look half as exotic as Sven. Eventually, the party ends, and they all find different spots in different rooms. Sven and a few of her friends sleep in her room. They lie next to each other, their bodies inches apart, and absolutely nothing happens. Until 5 am, that is, when Anna vomits all over her own legs and, of course, on the still sleeping Sven.
Anna, embarrassed and disgusted, flees the house. She texts Saskia to tell her how disgusting Sven was, that he had puked all over her, and then just gone back to sleep. Saskia and Anna bond in mutual disgust.
That night, she texts her best friend, Marcia, and tells her what really happened. She presses send, only to find that she has sent the text to Saskia by mistake.
Where to Start the Story
1. Write the whole thing as a text – Anna retelling everything to Marcia, then realising her mistake when she presses send.
2. Write in the third person, starting at the beginning.
3.Start at the crisis – Anna seeing Sven, flirting with him and making no progress.
4. Start with anti-climax – they both settle side by side in the bedroom, but nothing happens. The rest is told in flashback as and after she vomits.
How to End the Story
1. The realisation that the text has gone to Saskia and not Marcia.
3. We find out that Sven is telling the story – perhaps to his kids – ‘and that’s how I met your mother’.
Now I have added a 5 act summary. The idea with this is that you can rewrite the story using the 5 act summary. It is easy to remember the story this way. It is also easy to write your version of this in the exam.
There are 23 plots, so my hope is that at least one of them will appeal to you.
Even better, you might want to write your own story in the exam. So these plots will simply be helpful to you in practising your story writing.
I learned two of them for when I sat the GCSE as a paying customer in November 2023.
5 Act Summary
Anna attends a party hosted by Saskia, hoping to impress her and hook up with a new guy, Sven.
Despite her attempts, Sven shows no interest in Anna.
The party ends with Anna spending the night next to Sven, nothing happens until she throws up on him.
Humiliated, Anna leaves and tells Saskia about Sven's disgusting behaviour.
Anna accidentally sends a text to Saskia revealing the truth about what happened.
Next, I’ve decided to give versions of parts of the story, so you can see the choices writers make.
I’ve used two AI writers, Gemini and ChatGPT.
And then I’ve written part of the story myself.
The AI writing would be graded at 7, 8 or 9, depending on the story, or the examiner who happens to mark it. It is very good for a GCSE.
My version is always good enough for grade 9.
The idea behind having 3 part versions of the same story is that you will be able to pick ideas and language that you like. It will probably be a mishmash of all 3. I hope it will make story writing both fun and easy.
This will mean you can write the story in your own voice, without plagiarism.
Gemini
Write the ending of this story. Write it from the point of view of Sven who is telling the story to his own children to explain how he met their mother before they were born.
So there I was, sprawled out on Saskia's plush rug like a beached whale, dreams of epic Viking battles swirling in my head. Suddenly, the room lurched sideways, and a tidal wave of technicolour regret soaked my t-shirt. I blinked, the aftershocks of sleep clinging to my eyelids, and saw your mum, Anna, doubled over like a pretzel, spewing rainbows onto her own legs and, much to my horror, right onto my unsuspecting chest.
Now, let me tell you, I've seen things - berserkers in a frenzy, krakens rising from the depths, Odin himself on a particularly potent mead night. But nothing, and I mean nothing, prepared me for that. Shame hung in the air thicker than a London fog, and Anna, resembled a drowned kitten.
I did what any decent bloke would do - pretended to be asleep. Honestly, it was the only escape route I could see. Besides, after a night of Saskia's potent punch and questionable company, my own stomach was threatening a similar rebellion.
She fled, of course, a trail of apologies and recriminations echoing in her wake. I heard Saskia's sleepy snort from the corner, followed by a muttered, "Typical Anna." Typical Viking, I thought, suppressing a grin.
Now, most chaps in my shoes would've washed the whole debacle down with another flagon of mead and called it a night. But something about your mum, even in her technicolour disgrace, snagged my attention. Maybe it was the vulnerability in her tear-streaked eyes, or the way her fiery hair fanned out like a shield around her shame. Whatever it was, I knew I couldn't let her drown in her own mess, both literal and metaphorical.
So, with a sigh that rattled the windowpanes, I hauled myself up, grabbed a towel, and set about the unglamorous task of cleaning up. When I finished, she was still curled up, a whimpering bundle of mortification. I sat beside her, careful not to invade her space, and offered her a glass of water.
"Look," I said, my voice gruff but gentle, "accidents happen. Especially after Saskia's concoctions."
She peeked at me, a sliver of emerald green peeking through the curtain of her hair. "You weren't disgusted?"
I chuckled, a low rumble in my chest. "Disgusted? I've wrestled trolls with worse table manners."
That was the start, kids. A shared laugh in the aftermath of chaos. We talked for hours, about everything and nothing, the awkwardness melting away like frost in the morning sun. Turns out, Anna wasn't just a party girl with a penchant for projectile vomiting. She was funny, sharp as a Valkyrie's axe, and had a story that rivalled any saga I'd ever heard.
And me? Well, I wasn't just some muscle-bound pretty boy from some far-flung land. I was a dreamer, a storyteller, a bit of a mess myself sometimes. But together, we fit like two pieces of a broken shield, reforged in the fires of that messy, unforgettable night.
The rest, as they say, is history. We courted, we bickered, we weathered storms fiercer than any North Sea gale. And eventually, you two little rascals came along, proof that even the most spectacular messes can blossom into something beautiful.
So remember, kids, when life throws you a technicolour curveball, don't run. Embrace the chaos, laugh at the absurdity, and maybe, just maybe, you'll find the love of your life puking on your chest in the middle of a stranger's living room. Now, who's up for some pancakes? They might not be Viking fare, but they're guaranteed not to induce projectile regret.
3 things students can learn from this:
1. Crafting Humour and Emotional Connection Through Unconventional Situations:
The story uses humour to narrate an unusual and potentially embarrassing situation (being vomited on). This unexpected twist and the narrator's self-deprecating tone create an engaging and relatable voice.
Despite the humorous situation, the narrator expresses genuine concern for Anna, showcasing his kindness and setting the stage for a deeper emotional connection.
2. Developing Characters Through Dialogue and Internal Monologue:
The dialogue reveals aspects of the characters' personalities and potential connection. The narrator's use of metaphors and historical references ("Valkyrie's axe," "North Sea gale") hints at his interests and imagination. Anna's vulnerability and self-deprecation ("Typical Anna") provide glimpses into her character as well.
The narrator's internal monologue further reveals his thoughts and motivations, allowing the reader to understand his decision to help Anna and his growing attraction to her.
3. Linking the Past to the Present Through Storytelling:
The story uses the unconventional meet-cute as a framing device to share their love story with his children. This narrative technique allows him to create a personal and engaging experience for his audience.
By connecting the messy beginnings to their present happiness, the narrator emphasizes the message of finding beauty and connection in unexpected places.
ChatGPT
Retell the story from Anna's point of view, after she has sent the text. Write it in the voice of a 21 year old valley girl. Use humour.
OMG, like, buckle up babes, 'cause Aunt Anna's about to spill the tea on how she met your daddy, okay? So, picture this: it's a Saturday night, and I'm all psyched up for Saskia's epic house party. Saskia? Total queen bee, okay? She's like, the Regina George of our school, but with better hair and, like, a trust fund.
Anyway, I roll up to this party, feeling all fierce in my new outfit, ready to strut my stuff and, like, make some moves on this super-hot Viking dude named Sven. He's, like, straight out of a romance novel - tall, blonde, with abs you could grate cheese on, you know? And let me tell ya, I am all about that Nordic charm.
So there I am, flipping my hair, giggling like a maniac, and batting my eyelashes at Sven from across the room. But does he notice? Nope. Homeboy's, like, clueless. I mean, I even tried to start a convo with him, but he's about as chatty as a brick wall. Rude, much?
So, like any self-respecting girl would do, I drown my sorrows in a sea of jungle juice and, like, flirt with every dude who crosses my path. But none of them even come close to Sven's level of hotness. It's, like, a tragedy in the making, I swear.
Fast forward to the end of the night, and we're all crashing at Saskia's place. Sven and a few others end up in my room, and I'm, like, praying for some Netflix and chill action. But nope, nada, zilch. It's like we're playing a game of human Tetris, all squished together and nothing happening.
Then, just when I think this night couldn't get any worse, my stomach decides to do a flip-flop and I hurl all over myself and - you guessed it - Sven. Talk about a Kodak moment, am I right?
So, I do what any self-respecting girl would do in that situation: I bolt out of there faster than you can say "hot mess" and text Saskia about the disaster that just went down. I mean, it's a miracle I didn't leave a trail of breadcrumbs behind me, I was outta there so fast.
But here's where it gets even juicier, babes. I accidentally send that text to Saskia instead of my BFF Marcia. Can you say epic fail? So yeah, that's the story of how I met your daddy, kiddos. A vomit-covered Viking and a valley girl walk into a party... and the rest is history, I guess.
3 things students should learn from this:
Characterisation: This story effectively uses characterisation to bring the characters to life. Through Anna's voice, readers get a clear sense of her personality - she's a confident, outgoing "valley girl" who isn't afraid to speak her mind. Sven is portrayed as the quintessential handsome but somewhat aloof love interest. By creating vivid and memorable characters, students can make their stories more engaging and relatable to readers.
Conflict and Humour: The story employs both conflict and humour to drive the plot forward. Anna's quest to impress Sven sets up the central conflict, and her misadventures at the party - culminating in the comedic vomiting incident - add humour and unexpected twists to the narrative. By incorporating conflict and humour into their own stories, students can create compelling and entertaining narratives that keep readers hooked.
Voice and Point of View: The story's use of Anna's distinct voice and first-person point of view adds depth and authenticity to the storytelling. Anna's voice shines through in her colourful language, slang, and humorous commentary, giving readers insight into her thoughts and emotions. By experimenting with different voices and points of view, students can develop their own unique writing styles and create characters that feel genuine and relatable.
Mr Salles: Start With the Crisis
Ok, which was worse? So, I’m 18, and totally, like, totally, totally wired and stoked, because, well obviously, I’m drunk. I’ve been mixing, not just the vodka, but the beer, and at some point, wine with the girls, and I’m sooo wasted, though not so wasted that I can’t remember all the humiliating details.
So, yeah, I’m way too drunk to look cool, and drunk enough to feel cool. And, you know, Saskia’s place is like amazing, it’s like her mom got a job working for some billionaire and one day he said, hey Saskia’s mom, you’re so cool, I’m just going to give you my second best house, the one with the pool, and the gym and the sauna and the seven ensuites. Yeah, I don’t actually know how Saskia’s mum could afford this movie set of a house, but like, she is waaay cooler than my mom and Saskia, well, she’s a bitch to be blunt, but she’s taken bitchiness to new heights, like she be the queen of bitch-town, and well, I’m just basking in the glow of her coolness when she invites me over. I mean, to mix some metaphors, the sun has turned its gaze on me, and I’m illuminated, almost from within, just bursting with hope, and all that reflected coolness. Like, babe, I’ve arrived; Saskia says so.
All the cool kids are at the party, like duh, Saskia has more pull than gravity. Yes, I’m a science nerd, but nobody knows that here. In one corner stands a boy I’ve never seen before. He’s somehow cool, but uncool. He’s maybe six five, and football player wide, but he laughs in a way which isn’t macho-look-at-me-you-cheerleaders-and-drool, but which feels genuine, and I can’t hear what he’s saying because he doesn’t seem to be announcing his importance to the room but instead is like, in an actual conversation. Did I mention he was blonde and, obviously, blue eyed and handsome? Well, he was.
So, I stumbled towards him. Yeah, remember I was drunk, and so, my slinky sashay over there was less steady than I’d like. But, I was 18. What are you going to do? Make the best of it, right. So, I made my play.
3 things students can learn from this:
1. Building Character Voice and Personality Through Language and Tone:
The narrator's use of informal language, slang ("totally," "like"), and exaggerated expressions ("totally, like, totally wired and stoked") creates a distinct and humorous voice that reflects their age and state of intoxication.
The internal monologue reveals the narrator's insecurities and aspirations. Their self-deprecating humour ("not so wasted that I can't remember all the humiliating details") and emphasis on coolness ("cool kids," "babe, I've arrived") showcase their desire to be accepted and fit in.
2. Creating a Setting Through Sensory Details and Figurative Language:
Descriptions like "the pool, and the gym and the sauna and the seven ensuites" and "movie set of a house" provide vivid details about Saskia's house, establishing its extravagance and contributing to the narrator's awe.
Figurative language like "sun has turned its gaze on me" and "illuminated, almost from within" adds humour and emphasizes the narrator's distorted perception of their coolness due to their inebriated state.
3. Setting Up Intrigue and Conflict through Foreshadowing and Character Contrasts:
The introduction of the "blonde and...handsome" boy creates a sense of potential interest and foreshadows a potential romantic encounter for the narrator.
The contrasting descriptions of the boy's genuine laugh and the narrator's attempt at a "slinky sashay" establish a tension between them, hinting at potential awkwardness or a clash of personalities.
If you have any other ideas about how I can make this guide even more useful, please comment. I respond to every comment I get.
Really strong response from Chat GPT and I would argue it blows Gemini out of the water. For me, there's a strong, consistent tone to the Chat GPT piece but the narrative tone in the Gemini story is a mess!