My offer of 30 days’ of unlimited marking for students on my course has just finished. Phew.
One of them decided to give me their Paper 2A. He’s another grade 9 student, so I think you will find my marking helpful.
Question 1
C, D, F, H
I’m assuming these are correct – you can check. 4 marks. The national average score for this question is usually 3.7 or 3.8, so it is pretty difficult to get wrong.
Question 2
1. One way in which the behaviour of the elephants is similar is that, when unprovoked, they are both fairly calm. Comparison made. 1 mark.
2. We can see this in source A when Orwell points out that when it is ‘peacefully eating’ it did not seem dangerous, which implies that it was the people’s treatment of it that drove it to violence.
3. Similarly, in source B, in the elephant’s ‘early days’, it carried children on its back, which suggests that it was perfectly safe. Explanations in points 2 and 3 compare. 1 mark.
4. Another way in which the behaviour of elephants is similar is that both can be extremely dangerous under certain circumstances. Comparison made. 1 mark.
5. We can see this in source A when Orwell says that it had ‘destroyed somebody’s bamboo hut, killed a cow and raided some fruit-stalls, which implies that the elephant was very violent when it rampaged around the town.
6. Similarly, in source B, the elephant became much more violent when it reached adulthood, as it ‘began to destroy the doors and other parts of his house’, which shows how aggressive adult male elephants are – Explanations in points 5 and 6 compare. 1 mark.
7. Bartlett says that ‘all male elephants at this age become… dangerous’, which shows that its violence was not unusual. To get the extra mark, this needs to be compared to a further example from Source A.
8. A third way in which the behaviour of the elephants is similar is that both were calmed under unusual circumstances. Comparison made. 1 mark.
9. For example, in source A, the fact that the elephant ‘took not the slightest notice’ of him and the crowd seems very unusual to the reader (compared to its previous savagery), which suggests that it was the lack of people that calmed it down.
10. Furthermore, in source B, we are told that ‘he was perfectly quiet as soon as he was allowed to be free in the Gardens’ – we are also told that Bartlett finds this ‘strange’, but it is possible to interpret this as being because the elephant was no longer in a confined space. Explanations in points 9 and 10 compare. 1 mark.
You really need 4 comparisons to get 8 marks.
7 marks
You should know that the student wrote in paragraphs, but I have divided up into explanations and comparisons like this so you can see how the answer is organised. And how it is marked.
(Examiners do this unconsciously - they go by feel, and use their gut reaction to key words in the mark scheme.
But, when I read answers marked by senior examiner, this method of marking predicts the mark every single time).
You ought to be able to work out the method from my marking. If you want a further 24 examples, I have a guide for that!
Question 3
1. One way in which Orwell uses language to describe the crowd of people is by describing them as being slightly sadistic. This scores no marks until you link it to the example or reference to the text.
2. For example, they considered the elephant being shot as ‘a bit of fun’, which implies that the crowd didn’t care about the elephant or Orwell, and were only there to see the spectacle of its death. 1 mark.
3. Furthermore, we can also sense that the crowd were willing to jeopardize Orwell, because of the risks of killing the elephant – this isn’t explained clearly. No mark.
4. the fact that they were ‘certain’ that it would be shot shows that they would be willing to pressure Orwell into killing it for their own amusement. 1 mark.
5. Therefore, Orwell uses language to describe the crowd and being sadistic in their entertainment because they seemed to compare the death of an elephant to ‘a conjurer about to perform a trick’, This doesn’t show it is sadistic. No mark.
6. which shows the seeming insignificance of the act to them. 1 mark.
7. Another way in which Orwell uses language to describe the crowd is by describing its size. For example, he describes it as being ‘immense’, which is most likely to be an understatement, and this implies that he finds the large crowd uncomfortable, because of its overwhelming size. 1 mark.
8. This is further emphasised when he describes the number of people involved, with ‘two thousand at the least’ coming to watch – 1 mark.
9. ‘at the least’ also shows that this could be an understatement, as there could be many more. 1 mark.
10. Furthermore, the fact that the crowd is ‘growing every minute’ shows that the spectacle of him shooting the elephant is very popular, 1 mark.
11. which could be interpreted as the crowd pressuring him into shooting it. 1 mark.
12. Therefore, Orwell uses language to describe the crowd by emphasising its size, and this shows how many people were pressuring him into shooting the elephant. This is a great conclusion, but scores no extra marks because it is not a new explanation.
8 marks.
12 marks needs 12 explanations.
If you’d like to study 24 other examples, I have a guide for that too.
Paid subscribers get a new grade 9 answer every week, with my commentary explaining why. There are over 50 available already.
This is a bonus one for half term - about 50% of grade 9 students will be revising for another mock in their holidays, and this is a very efficient way to do it.
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