Yesterday I showed you a grade 9 answer. Today, it is time for 100%!
This week I launched my course on how to get top grades in Paper 1A of AQA GCSE literature. Here is the course.
The aim behind the course is to make sure that any and every student who completes it gets at least a grade 7, but hopefully a grade 8 or 9.
The first 20 students who sign up get unlimited marking from me for 30 days. There are, at the time of writing, 12 spaces left. I have only advertised it here - tomorrow I will also let my YouTube viewers know.
Every answer I have received so far is grade 9 - it looks like the course is working! I couldn’t be more pleased.
Today it is time for another student who has bought the course. She scored 100%. It is based on the June 2019 paper, which you can find here.
Question 4 Practice
I partially agree with the student, that Hardstop’s cruelty is revealed, yet disagree that we entirely sympathize with Albert.
This is an excellent introduction. It is not yet an explanation, so doesn’t score a mark.
The writer does, however, build sympathy for Albert through Hardstop’s domineering attitude when he “talked over him”.
This itself is rude, and could suggest that Hardstop isn’t a pleasant character, which could hint at his later cruelty.
The monosyllabic sentence “bring back the shark”, in combination with the plosive “b” alliteration, works to create a determined tone, which could either emphasize the importance of the shark, thus minimizing sympathy for Albert as it is and should be his job to recover such a prize,
or could alternatively imply how cruel and unreasonable Hardstop is.
Despite this, the reader does feel sympathy for Albert through the violent description of the “wind tossed waves”. This description makes them seem dangerous so we fear for Albert’s safety, further emphasizing Hardstop’s cruelty.
The alliteration of “w” consonants also emphasize the difficulty of the journey, as the nature of the sounds themselves are also difficult to pronounce.
Sibilance is also used to evoke a sinister tone, which adds further emphasis for the danger of the waves “spraying spitefully”, and makes us feel sympathetic towards Albert.
This also demonstrates the cruelty of Hardstop as, despite the threatening atmosphere, he still risks his cabin boy.
Alternatively, the reader also understands that this job is necessary so, perhaps, Hardstop is not cruel and simply practical,
which further diminishes sympathy for Albert, so we are not completely sympathetic.
The writer also uses pathetic fallacy when depicting the “darkening storm” to perhaps reflect Albert’s growing resentment.
This suggests that he is about to lash out towards Hardstop, and thus we could interpret him as deceitful and vengeful, lowering any sympathy for this character.
An eventual mutiny is also foreshadowed at the end of the extract through sibilance of Albert “slipping” as he “silently disappeared without speaking”. The sinister tone makes us question Albert’s morality, however, rather than diminishing sympathy for Albert,
a more sympathetic reader could see this as evidence for past trauma at the hands of Hardstop’s cruelty,
16. and thus support the tormented cabin boy.
This is really a repetition of “a more sympathetic reader” in the point above, so is not a new explanation. No mark.
When Albert pronounces, “it was just the shark”, we feel that he resents the fact that he was made to risk his life to only secure a replaceable item, however Hardstop’s following repetition of the word “just” in a rhetorical question ironically, dismisses Albert’s feelings, and thus the reader could Hardstop as cruel and unsympathetic,
Making us feel further pity for Albert at having to deal with the emotional abuse.
On the other hand, more cynically, we can see how the “shark” is indeed valuable, and perhaps it was due to Albert being lazy and not securing it properly that it fell in the first place.
Thus, it was Albert’s fault and so it was right that Albert should go back and correct his mistake.
Furthermore, by sending Albert back and diminishing his evaluation of the shark as unimportant, Hardstop sets an example to his crew of what happens when people are unproductive and lazy, thus a reader could see his response as logical, and not fault him for it.
Conversely, the fact that Albert “complied immediately” could show how he is not unproductive or lazy, and thus the previous misconception could be refuted, so, considering Hardstop is aware of the obedient and productive nature of the boy, we see him as needlessly cruel,
and thus do indeed mostly sympathise with Albert.
This is a good conclusion, which is not a further explanation, so does not score a mark on its own.
My Comments
This is an excellent answer which fully deserves 20/20. This is incredibly rare.
You next step is to check that you can write this much under exam conditions in 30 minutes.
Hi Sir, I’ve noticed in most of your guides and videos you mention that writing fast is a key part of getting top marks. Would you be able to make a video or substack explaining how to write more quickly?