Students keep sending me essays, which is great for you, and terrible for me.
I’m busy making videos. I’m releasing courses on AQA GCSE language. I’m collabbing with Mr Everything English and First Rate Tutor.
But, exams are coming - and so I turn to Tilf.io.
I’ve just had a chat with Kelly, and I’ve said students need more than one free go. And she says, ah, but they can. If you get anyone else to sign up for a free go, you get more free goes. I wish you would do that so that you don’t send them to me!
Give Tilf.io a go. It now gives you a mark too.
The Essay
In Shakespeare's archetypal, allegorical play "Macbeth", Macbeth's violence is constructed as a warning outlining the detrimental repercussions on morality when employing violence to fulfil selfish ambitions in order to obtain power. In Macbeth's character, violence is inextricably liked to his ambition and his path to usurping the throne, as well as the gender roles prescribed by a patriarchal society that incites a trajectory to prove ones self-worth by procuring an unblemished masculinity.
(This introduction sets up a clear argument about the thematic link between violence and ambition in 'Macbeth'. You effectively introduce the idea that violence is not only a physical act but also tied to societal expectations of masculinity. However, be cautious with phrasing to ensure clarity; 'inextricably liked' may be a typo for 'linked'.)
In the extract Macbeth’s violent acts are commemorated in battle, using violence to defend one's country and defeat ones enemies is valued and respected. The Captain illustrates Macbeth's brave conquering as honoured: "Disdaining Fortune... smoked with bloody execution". The use of religious imagery within "fortune", could suggest how Macbeth's acts of "valour" were honourable and true, how he is so "worthy" that he can destroy his countries enemy, by his own might, without god's help. In this Shakespeare displays the idea that some violent acts are necessary and "valiant", and so initially Macbeth's acts are alined with God and the divine order. Alternatively, "fortune"could allude to fate and the predetermined, relating to gods divine plan. However, it is curious how Macbeth wasn't blessed or crowned with "fortune", he was "disdaining fortune" suggesting a disregard, deeming the fortune of god unworthy. Although, Macbeth is being celebrated and praised, there is an underlying theme of him usurping the fortune of god to obtain a violent conquering in battle.
(You provide a nuanced analysis of the extract, exploring the dual nature of violence as both honorable and potentially hubristic. The examination of the term 'fortune' is insightful, showing an understanding of the complexity of Shakespeare's language. However, ensure that you maintain a focus on the question by explicitly linking these observations back to the presentation of violence.)
Furthermore, the metaphor of "smoked" connotes to heat and hell, foreshadowing the moral, phycological and physiological ramifications of Macbeth's violent acts. Shakespeare instills this idea of violence within Macbeth's character as inherent, from the beginning of the play and even while Macbeth is being payed homage to thee is an underlying shadow of violent acts to defend Scotland that is accepted, now even thought these violent acts, later, bring about his tragic downfall. Perhaps, Shakespeare constructs this in order to appease James I, Shakespeare's patron- this idea of the tragic and eternal consequence of even a trusted, honoured soldier, betraying their king, usurping power- dissuading anyone from treason.
(Your analysis of the metaphor 'smoked' is effective in exploring the ominous undertones of Macbeth's violence. The connection to King James I and the potential political implications of the play is a sophisticated contextual point. However, be mindful of spelling and grammatical errors ('phycological' should be 'psychological', 'payed' should be 'paid', and 'thee' seems out of place) as they can detract from the clarity of your argument.)
In acts 2 Macbeth's portrayal as a violent character is embossed with mania and aggression, initiating his decent from "worthy" to "fiend". as Macbeth outlines his ambitions, he says "with Tarquins ravishing strides, towards his design". This remark to Tarquin, a Roman tyrant who rapped his wife, revealed the constraints that Macbeth has been "cabined, cribbed, confined" too. Shakespeare utilises the prescribed gender roles of society to expose their corrupt and immoral ways. Macbeth, emasculated by lady Macbeth's "when you durst do it, then you were a man", has lost a sense of his own identity within his masculinity. his aspiration to emaciate Tarquin, who ruled ruthlessly, signifies that he now perceives power synonymous with brutality and toxic masculinity. Moreover the idea of "design" further alludes to gods "design" of creation, demonstrating that Macbeth's ambition, fuelled by violent means, is to obtain the intention, time and power of the gods. To a pious Jacobean audience, this idea of Macbeth's aspiration for transgression against the natural order exacerbates Macbeth as, not only a physically violent character but also a threat to gods diving order.
(This paragraph offers a strong analysis of Macbeth's descent into violence and the influence of gender roles. The reference to Tarquin is well-chosen and effectively used to illustrate Macbeth's changing perception of power. However, there are several typographical errors ('rapped' should be 'raped', 'emaciate' seems incorrect, 'gods' should be 'God's', 'durst' should be 'dare', 'diving' should be 'divine') that need to be addressed. Additionally, ensure that your analysis remains focused on the presentation of violence as per the essay question.)
In conclusion, Shakespeare presents Macbeth's ambition as innate and internalised. As a "worthy" character, although patriotically, Macbeth employs violence so powerful that it can overwhelm and disregard fortune". furthermore, as a tyrant, Macbeth's violence is continually ingrained into his mentality and being, inflamed from his emasculation. This cyclical structure, demonstrates how Macbeth is "smoked" in eternal damnation for his instinctuall violence and brutality to fulfil his own self-serving ambition.
(Your conclusion effectively summarises the key points of your essay, reinforcing the idea that Macbeth's violence is a product of his ambition and societal pressures. However, the conclusion could be strengthened by more explicitly tying these points back to the question of how violence is presented in the play. Also, watch out for typographical errors ('instinctuall' should be 'instinctual', 'fortune"' is missing the opening quotation mark) and ensure that the final sentence is grammatically complete.)
Level: 5
Mark: 21 - 24 (this is a beta feature and mark may not be very accurate)
Overall feedback:
Your essay demonstrates a thoughtful and developed consideration of the presentation of violence in 'Macbeth', with a particular focus on the interplay between ambition, societal expectations, and gender roles. You provide a range of apt references and integrate them well into your interpretations. To improve, pay close attention to typographical and grammatical accuracy, as errors can detract from the overall quality of your work. Additionally, ensure that each point you make is explicitly linked back to the question to maintain a clear and focused argument throughout.
What went well: The essay shows a strong understanding of the thematic complexities in 'Macbeth' and provides a nuanced analysis of the text. The use of context to inform the interpretation is particularly well done.
Even better if: To achieve a higher level, work on refining the precision of language and proofreading to eliminate typographical errors. Ensure that all analysis is clearly and consistently linked back to the question of how violence is presented in the play.
Hi, Sir! Thanks for uploading another great article 😊
Quick question with regards to Macbeth: In one of my essays, I made a brief reference to one of Shakespeare's other plays-- I didn't analyse any quotes from the other play and it was more of a 'x could be a reference to y which means z in play x' and at max 1-2 sentences. One teacher said it was brilliant, another said it would restrict my grade heavily as I was making a tenuous link and not actually answering the question. So, I was wondering if I was allowed to do this?