hi mr salles!! i subscribed to the web and i got a level 6 in my work on An Inspector Calls, but my teacher at school marked it as a level 5 (22/30), what should i do?
(I personally think i deserve a level 5 only)
Revising from other students’ essays is helpful. Flora used to many ‘impressive’ vocabulary choices which made her meaning unclear in places. So, I have made some minor changes to her essay. It should score more than 22/30
How Does Priestley Use the Inspector?
As a socialist, Priestley uses the Inspector as a mouthpiece to point out the variety of problems led by the power imbalance and injustice in postwar society.
The Birling family is an example of the capitalist upper class, especially Mr Birling, who believes strongly in the ideology of patriarchalism and the importance of individualism. Their exploitative behaviour, whether intended or reckless, further shapes a harsh hierarchical structure in society which is based on their family background and social status. Their prestige and prosperity may satisfy their wants and needs, but their ignorant behaviours are the roots of all the corruption and hostility in the society. Thus, Priestley tries to convey the idea of equality and social responsibility, trying to breach the rift between upper and lower class, and so to disprove the concept of capitalism.
The Inspector, as a proxy for Priestley, symbolises socialism and the potential of the younger generation to possibly step up and change, explaining “We often do [ make an impression] on the young ones. They are more impressionable.” The way Priestley emphasises the pronoun “we” suggests that socialism could unite us in society. The lower class will not have to climb their way up, instead everyone would have an equal opportunity and gain their fundamental human rights.
Priestley also focuses on the younger generation, meaning that they are the group of people who are more open-minded to take up socialist ideas. This also suggests that capitalism is already old-fashioned, only the eldest would stay in their rigid and locked mind. Ironically, Mr and Mrs Birling are vastly experienced and apparently socially superior, yet they seem to be incapable of leading their generation.
Simultaneously, Sheila and Eric, who seemed to appear immature and sheltered, realise their wrongdoings. They challenge and reject their capitalist parents, instead believing that only socialism can create a better future. In Act 2, Sheila shows her desire for her change through “He’s giving us the rope - so we’ll hang ourselves.” The idea of a rope is perhaps indicating a tool which would help people to escape from struggling situations, showing that the Inspector is giving them opportunities. In spite of that, none of the capitalist members grasp and comprehend his words, yet proceed to be resistant to changing their beliefs. Consequently, it refers to how they will eventually “hang themselves”, resulting in death, equivalent to Eva Smith’s suicide.
This also implies that the lower class do not deserve to suffer from a lack of help, and that the upper class's thoughtless actions can gradually kill the innocent and weak. Priestley again brings out the importance of social responsibility, and attempts to portray a heroic side of socialism, suggesting that welfare of the poor is everyone's responsibility, and that businessmen shouldn't grow rich on the poverty of their workers.
In addition, at any time capitalism is mentioned, it is immediately challenged by the interruption of the Inspector or even the stage directions, like "the sharp doorbell”. These are significant because the Inspector is always shown to be powerful and constantly attacks the concept of capitalism. Priestley uses the character of the authoritative Inspector to imply a distinctive aura around socialism, contrasting with how the capitalists show no sympathy and willingness to care for others. Priestley uses these brutal acts to persuade his audience that capitalist belief is harmful.
In a broader perspective, he directly addresses the upper class as a whole that they shouldn't be prejudiced against the poor, or control them through manipulative means. They shouldn't profit from someone else's misfortune, as no one deserves to be maltreated. The Inspector again reminds us of the importance of socialism at the end of the play: “We are all members of one body. We are responsible for one another." Priestley's final speech uses socialism as a lens through which he critiques the prevailing social hierarchies, and underscores the interconnectedness of individuals in the society. In a broader perspective, Priestley attempts to educate the upper class in the Edwardian era through this didactic play, that it is not merely about advocating for economic equality. Regardless of their social status, they need to show collective responsibility and compassion towards each other and the working classes. This is what shapes an equitable society.
705 words
My Comments
Regular readers will know that grade 9 essays normally need between 13-15 quotes. This is the main area for Flora to improve.
Oh, and how many parts to your thesis statement? 3. Flora only has one.
I was also curious about Tilf.io’s marking. I agree with Fora and her teacher, that her draft was not a Level 6. So, how much has Tilf.io improved in the two weeks since Flora submitted her essay?
Tilf.io’s Feedback
As a socialist, Priestley uses the Inspector as a mouthpiece to point out the variety of problems led by the power imbalance and injustice in postwar society.
This paragraph effectively introduces Priestley's use of the Inspector as a vehicle for his socialist views, highlighting the power imbalances and injustices of the time.
Consider expanding on how the Inspector's interactions with the Birling family directly challenge their capitalist ideologies.
The Birling family is an example of the capitalist upper class, especially Mr Birling, who believes strongly in the ideology of patriarchalism and the importance of individualism. Their exploitative behaviour, whether intended or reckless, further shapes a harsh hierarchical structure in society which is based on their family background and social status. Their prestige and prosperity may satisfy their wants and needs, but their ignorant behaviours are the roots of all the corruption and hostility in the society. Thus, Priestley tries to convey the idea of equality and social responsibility, trying to breach the rift between upper and lower class, and so to disprove the concept of capitalism.
You provide a strong analysis of the Birling family as a representation of capitalist upper class and how their actions contribute to societal issues.
To enhance your response, consider discussing specific instances where the Inspector confronts these characters, prompting them to reflect on their actions.
The Inspector, as a proxy for Priestley, symbolises socialism and the potential of the younger generation to possibly step up and change, explaining “We often do [ make an impression] on the young ones. They are more impressionable.” The way Priestley emphasises the pronoun “we” suggests that socialism could unite us in society. The lower class will not have to climb their way up, instead everyone would have an equal opportunity and gain their fundamental human rights.
You've insightfully discussed the Inspector's role in influencing the younger generation and the symbolism of socialism he carries.
It would be beneficial to include more textual evidence to support the idea that the Inspector, and thus socialism, can unite society.
Priestley also focuses on the younger generation, meaning that they are the group of people who are more open-minded to take up socialist ideas. This also suggests that capitalism is already old-fashioned, only the eldest would stay in their rigid and locked mind. Ironically, Mr and Mrs Birling are vastly experienced and apparently socially superior, yet they seem to be incapable of leading their generation.
The contrast between the older and younger generations is well articulated, with a clear link to the theme of change and the potential for socialism.
Try to provide examples of how the Inspector facilitates this change in Sheila and Eric's characters.
Simultaneously, Sheila and Eric, who seemed to appear immature and sheltered, realise their wrongdoings. They challenge and reject their capitalist parents, instead believing that only socialism can create a better future. In Act 2, Sheila shows her desire for her change through “He’s giving us the rope - so we’ll hang ourselves.” The idea of a rope is perhaps indicating a tool which would help people to escape from struggling situations, showing that the Inspector is giving them opportunities. In spite of that, none of the capitalist members grasp and comprehend his words, yet proceed to be resistant to changing their beliefs. Consequently, it refers to how they will eventually “hang themselves”, resulting in death, equivalent to Eva Smith’s suicide.
Your analysis of Sheila and Eric's character development is thorough, and you effectively use the metaphor of the rope to illustrate the Inspector's role.
To strengthen your argument, consider how the Inspector's methods reveal the flaws in the capitalist ideology held by the older Birlings.
This also implies that the lower class do not deserve to suffer from a lack of help, and that the upper class's thoughtless actions can gradually kill the innocent and weak. Priestley again brings out the importance of social responsibility, and attempts to portray a heroic side of socialism, suggesting that welfare of the poor is everyone's responsibility, and that businessmen shouldn't grow rich on the poverty of their workers.
This paragraph adeptly connects the theme of social responsibility to the Inspector's critique of capitalist society.
You could further explore how the Inspector's revelations impact the audience's perception of the upper class.
In addition, at any time capitalism is mentioned, it is immediately challenged by the interruption of the Inspector or even the stage directions, like "the sharp doorbell”. These are significant because the Inspector is always shown to be powerful and constantly attacks the concept of capitalism. Priestley uses the character of the authoritative Inspector to imply a distinctive aura around socialism, contrasting with how the capitalists show no sympathy and willingness to care for others. Priestley uses these brutal acts to persuade his audience that capitalist belief is harmful.
You've identified the dramatic techniques Priestley uses to challenge capitalism and underscore the Inspector's authority.
Consider discussing the Inspector's final speech in more detail, analysing how it encapsulates Priestley's message.
In a broader perspective, he directly addresses the upper class as a whole that they shouldn't be prejudiced against the poor, or control them through manipulative means. They shouldn't profit from someone else's misfortune, as no one deserves to be maltreated. The Inspector again reminds us of the importance of socialism at the end of the play: “We are all members of one body. We are responsible for one another." Priestley's final speech uses socialism as a lens through which he critiques the prevailing social hierarchies, and underscores the interconnectedness of individuals in the society. In a broader perspective, Priestley attempts to educate the upper class in the Edwardian era through this didactic play, that it is not merely about advocating for economic equality. Regardless of their social status, they need to show collective responsibility and compassion towards each other and the working classes. This is what shapes an equitable society.
Your conclusion effectively synthesises the Inspector's role as a mouthpiece for socialism and its critique of the upper class.
Reflect on how the Inspector's presence and actions throughout the play serve as a catalyst for the audience's understanding of social responsibility.
Mark: 23 - 26 (this is a beta feature and mark may not be very accurate)
Overall feedback: The student's work demonstrates a thoughtful and developed consideration of the Inspector's role in 'An Inspector Calls' as a means for Priestley to critique capitalist society and advocate for socialist principles. The response is well-structured, with clear and explained points supported by relevant references to the text. To reach a higher level, the student could benefit from integrating more detailed textual analysis and exploring the Inspector's impact on the audience's perception of the play's themes.
What went well: The student's understanding of the Inspector's symbolic role and the critique of capitalist society is clear and well-articulated. The use of textual references to support interpretations is apt and effectively integrated into the analysis.
Even better if: To improve further, the student could provide a more nuanced exploration of the Inspector's methods and their effects on both characters and audience. Additionally, incorporating a more detailed examination of the play's context and how it informs the Inspector's role would enhance the response.
My Comments
I’m very happy with the quality of the advice, and the actual mark.
To get the most out of the advice, separate your argument into smaller paragraphs. This makes them easier to follow and read. Flora’s version crammed everything into 3 paragraphs, so she got much less advice, which I think was less helpful.