Grade 9 Essay: How does Shakespeare present the theme of ambition in the play?
What is the shortest essay which can get full marks?
I’m writing a guide to how to write essays at each grade for Macbeth. My Ultimate Guide to Macbeth shows you how to understand the whole play, scene by scene, to above grade 9. It also shows you how to write about each scene at grades 6, 7, 8, 9 and beyond grade 9.
I’ve written over 20 guides and it is the best guide I have ever written.
But, what if you are a student who just wants a grade 5, or just wants a grade 7, or you want a grade 9, but you want it as quickly as possible. You don’t want to read an Ultimate Guide to Macbeth - that’s going to have a lot of Mr Salles brilliance in it but, no offence Mr Salles, English isn’t even in my top 5 subjects.
I want the maximum marks, with the minimum effort.
So, that’s why I’m writing a series of new guides, showing you ‘just’ what you need for each grade, and no more.
How I wrote the essays in the essay writing guide (out in September)
I found all the essays I could which had been marked by a senior examiner.
I rewrote them, changing all the words, but keeping every idea and technique, and every quote.
Then I counted the features of each essay. Exam criteria are vague and open to interpretation. So I wondered, are there features of each essay I can count, which are not open to interpretation? And then, if we do count these features, will they predict the right mark?
Let’s find out.
This is an extract from the guide. Normally, my comments, and the examiner comments, follow the essay. Here, I have put the comments first so you can see what the examiner is looking for before you read the essay.
Response 24
Thesis Statement Yes
Explanations 9
Quotes 5
Named Methods 5
Society/era/patriarchal/Jacobean/contemporary/ historical reference etc 3
Shakespeare 4
Exploratory Could, Might, May, Perhaps, Probably 0
Conclusion Yes
Paragraphs 7
My Comments
Well, well, well. I was not expecting that mark. (It scored 25/30).
It doesn’t have anywhere near the number of references or quotations I was expecting for AO1.
It introduces the idea that ambition will affect ‘reason’, but never actually proves it –there are many easy examples and quotes revealing the mental state of Macbeth – is this a dagger, murdered sleep, never shake they gory locks, my mind is full of scorpions etc - and Lady Macbeth sleepwalking.
The original essay included mistakes in identifying adverbs and nouns, which I’ve got rid of, because even naming them correctly adds no marks.
There is very little context used to back up interpretations.
So, what has impressed the examiner?
There are both a thesis statement and a conclusion, so it becomes a well-constructed argument.
The student has quoted from the end of the play right at the beginning, to show that they are dealing with the whole text.
Although they don’t give many examples from the rest of the play, they do move through it chronologically, so it is a well-constructed argument.
This, and very specific language to describe it, helps the student look at Macbeth’s character arc, his ‘journey’, showing how Macbeth changes.
The answer looks at the structure of the play in two ways. First by viewing Macbeth’s life in two parts – a rise and fall. Secondly, by exploring Banquo as the antithesis to Macbeth in his ambition. These two ideas mark the answer out as thoughtful and different from most students’ essays.
Examiner Comments
The answer focuses on ambition right from the start and with every point.
The thesis statement and next paragraph make it clear that the student is dealing with the whole text.
The essay is thoughtful and developed.
The student embeds quotations and references to illustrate their ideas.
The student’s comments about Shakespeare’s intentions throughout the essay show that they realise his choices are deliberate.
In order to get into level 6 the student should explore more of Shakespeare’s ideas.
Next Steps
Write down the other ideas you could put into this essay.
Find references or quotes to back these up.
Write another 350 words to add in to get 30/30.
The 420 Word Essay!
Shakespeare reveals ambition as the dominant theme in the play, because it is Macbeth’s overpowering ambition which leads to his immoral murder of King Duncan. Lady Macbeth and the witches can only influence Macbeth in this because his ambition is already so great.
In this extract, Shakespeare explores how ambition influences even the most honourable. This is why he gives Lady Macbeth the perspective that Macbeth’s character is “too full o’th’ milk of human kindness”, which is her real perception because Shakespeare reveals it in SOLILOQUY. We associate “milk” with innocence and purity, which implies that Macbeth is too noble to act on his ambition. Yet, once he has reigned as king, he is viewed as a “butcher”, because he has become both cruel and indiscriminate in his killing.
This change from excessive kindness to tyranny is a surprising journey, which warns the audience of the danger of ambition. Moreover, Shakespeare portrays ambition as a force which will overcome morality and reason. He gives Lady Macbeth the view that Macbeth is “not without ambition, but without the illness should attend it”. The COMPARISON of ambition to “illness” implies that it is destructive, and also that this destruction can turn on the ambitious person themselves, attacking their sense of morality and ability to be kind.
Macbeth lists every reason not to murder Duncan, before focusing on his “vaulting ambition”. This METAPHOR implies that his ambition is more powerful than his conscience, so he will overcome his moral objections.
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