Isum has spent very little time planning. He’s simply decided on the best comparison to make with the named poem, Bayonet Charge.
The Head of English in one of my schools has worked out that Exposure compares with almost every other poem.
If you are only going to revise one poem in detail, she says this is the one.
In my guide to poetry comparison I was surprised to find that the other poem which fits almost any comparison is Kamikaze.
However, and this is even more surprising, the examiners don’t really care about the comparison:
“Whilst comparison is not an assessment objective, it does have a part to play in the assessment of AO1, as per the ‘typical features’ section of the mark scheme.
Students approach comparison in many ways but choosing a poem which ‘works’ well with the named poem is likely to help a student fare better on the first strand of AO1.”
Let me translate that for you: as long as you are writing about the key words in the question (for example the power of conflict) you can compare in any way you like, with any poem.
So, pick one which is easy to compare, is the advice from the examiner.
Here is an alternative bit of advice:
Learn 4 poems really well. Use one of those to compare to the named poem, no matter what. It will be easy to get grade 9 with very focused revision if you do that.
You are going to ask me which poems, aren’t you?
That means you haven’t fully taken in what I have just told you, and what the examiner’s report says.
THERE ARE NO BEST POEMS FOR COMPARISON!
However, there are best poems for you to write a lot about which scores high grades. These will be:
Poems which you like and are therefore interesting and memorable to you.
Poems with an obvious structure and poetic form (usually those written before 1919), because writing meaningfully about structure and form gets you top grades.
What Poems Did Students Pick in the 2022 Exam?
“The most popular choices for comparison were Remains, Exposure, The Charge of the Light Brigade and Kamikaze, all of which worked well.
Obviously the ‘ideas about conflict’ were based on war in the aforementioned poems.
But other students used
Storm on the Island,
Checking Out Me History,
London or
Ozymandias
which were arguably a little more challenging in terms of focus and comparison, although examiners saw some really empathic responses to the Agard poem.
I’m very pleased with that! Here’s why:
Yep, in my prediction videos I tell you how to apply my predicted poem to any question, in case that poem is not the named poem. This was the poem I predicted that year, 2022.
Remember I told you that leaning 4 poems really well, and applying them no matter what, works?
Well, here is my proof.
I’d also add, choosing a comparison which is “a little more challenging” forces you to be more inventive, and more analytical. And that means higher grades.
Checking Out Me History has still not come up, so that video is still very much worth watching! Here it is: click me.
Isum’s Essay Comparing Conflict in Bayonet Charge and Exposure
(I will type it out for you at the end!)
That was 1135 words long.
Grade 9 answers are usually over 900 words long. The faster your write, the higher your marks.
This is just as important as your skills in English. Weird, unfair, but very easy to learn. You don’t need any brains to learn to write fast.
Just practise.
What the AQA Mark Scheme Means
AO1
This is what the examiners think you should do to make your quotes and references ‘judicious’:
“Many students remember references and quotations exceptionally well, seemingly born of familiarity with the poems, rather than learning by rote.”
They mean, if you know the poem really well, you will be able to adapt your knowledge to any question.
See, I told you my method of learning 4 works really well.
(I obviously know many more really well, but that is only because I teach them. But others like Tissue and Emigree, even Storm on the Island, leave me cold).
AO2
The examiners point out that this assessment objective is all about the meaning of the poem.
Don’t just list features or structural techniques.
“Lists of structural features and their technical names, often merely described rather than related to meaning or without precise reference to the poem, are not the best use of time.
That said, discussion of some structural features can achieve highly, for instance, the effects of openings and last lines.”
Yes, why the poet chose to begin and end the poem in particular ways is always connected to the meaning of the poem. It is always a comment on the structure of the poem. And, this is the important bit: it is impossible to write bullshit about it.
Whereas, other aspects of structure which you might have learned to write about often lead students to writing rubbish:
“However, the observation of a rhyme scheme [ABAB] is best avoided.”
“Comments on poetic construction could be limiting. When discussing Bayonet Charge, for example, there were frequent references to enjambment and caesura. This is not per se ‘wrong’ but a mere observation of the techniques or even a vague comment about ‘flow’ and ‘pace’ will not achieve above Level 2 AO2 if it is not tied to meaning.”
Obviously, the examiner is more careful with their language than I am.
AO3
Context in the poetry questions is very different from the other texts you study. Very different.
“Increasingly, students are moving away from the addressing of AO3 via social / historical ideas which is most welcome and enables them to write in a way which is so much more engaged with poets’ ideas”.
“The focus on ‘ideas about conflict’ was quite straightforward. Patriotism, violence, death, inner conflict and PTSD amongst others were appropriate considerations for AO3.
But paragraphs about, for example, Owen’s war experiences, Hughes’ father as a soldier or extraneous information about Guardsman Tromans were not useful if they meant the student lost sight of the poem.”
So, context just means, what are the poet’s ideas in this poem?
(I should point out that PTSD was not recognised as a condition until 1980. In WW1 it was referred to as Shell Shock by the soldiers themselves, and therefore by everyone else).
My poetry guide is an Amazon Best Seller because it has 11 grade 9 poetry essays, comparing all the poems.
The rating has dropped below 4.5 because someone bought it without reading the description:
Revising essays is much more useful:
And that’s how you should use this post. Steal ideas from the essays. And learn how to write the essay. This is 10X more effective than annotating the poems!
It certainly worked for Dilly on this very exam question.
If you fancy the guide, click here.
The Essay Typed Up
In both Bayonet Charge and Exposure, both poets convey the ruthless nature of conflict, as it is physically, demanding, and psychologically traumatic. Both poets try to expose the demanding nature of war, perhaps, to explore the falsities of propaganda.
The thesis statement sets out what you are going to argue in the essay. Isum actually has 4 ideas here that he is going to prove.
In both poems, war is presented as demanding both physically and mentally. In Exposure, the harsh realities of war are conveyed, as he describes his experience as ‘our brains ache in the merciless iced east winds that knive us’. Immediately, the personification of the winds being merciless, conveys the ruthless nature of the weather on the soldiers, as they suffer in the trenches.
Isum knows he is going to use Exposure as one of his banker poems.
So he has also learned which quotes he is going to use, no matter what the question. This also allows him to use the right terminology, to write about methods, linked to meaning. He knows this, because he has learned these phrases and sentences in advance.
And, he can make sure that this is linked to meaning, so he gets the marks.
However, this experience is different to Bayonet Charge as Owen recounts a first-hand experience of war, as a soldier who fought in the trenches, whereas Hughes’ father was a soldier, not him – perhaps why the soldier in Bayonet Charge is portrayed to be slightly more heroic. The almost violent adjective ‘merciless’, perhaps conveys a sense of sadism in the nature, as the soldiers feel as if they are being ‘knived’. This harsh verb portrays the soldiers’ pure pain, and agony, and evokes the harsh reality of war.
This is another example of what he has learned in advance, so he knows his AO2 analysis is going to be really strong, before he even opens his exam paper.
Furthermore, the half rhymes, ‘salient’ and ‘silent’ could mimic a lack of cohesion war brings, not only for the soldiers’ physical state, but also to their minds, which is further emphasised as Owen uses a range of metric feet, which mimics the chaotic nature of war.
This is the kind of pure waffle the examiners don’t want with AO3. Half rhymes might mimic a hundred things if you take this approach - poverty, being short, being out of breath, having only one eye, being an only child.
This scores no marks!
Similarly, Hughes also structures his poem to convey the restless nature of conflict as he starts in media res, to illustrate that this experience is also one of many, and that soldiers cannot rest in conflict.
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They know that most readers will see the incredible value, and stick around.
This is a real point about the meaning of the poem. It is another way of writing about the first line - the opening. Why the poet starts the poem in any way will always be related to meaning. Hurrah.
Furthermore, the enjambment of ‘raw … in raw’ further depicts the sense of unstoppable action, as the sweat is also metaphorically heavy, and this conveys how physically demanding.
The point about enjambment may work. It’s on the border between meaning and stretching an explanation.
This is similar to Exposure, however, in Exposure, we feel a sense of injured pain between the soldier, through the personal pronoun ‘we’, and the regular eight line stanzas, demonstrating that all of the soldiers are equally harmed by the weather, and it never stops, whereas in Bayonet Charge, it is only describing one soldier – perhaps being more universal as he didn’t fight in war.
The comment comparing ‘we’ to one soldier is a good comment on structure. The comment about regular stanzas is waffle.
Moreover, both poems metaphorically convey nature in conflict in different ways. In Exposure, nature is conveyed to be ruthless as ‘pale flakes with fingering stealth come feeling for our faces’. An immediate sense of pain from nature is mimicked by the fricatives and the uncomfortable verb ‘feeling’ and the awkward adjective ‘fingering’ simply suggests how helpless the soldiers feel in conflict.
Here is another example of how Isum knows which quotes to write about, which methods to include, and how to link these to the poet’s ideas.
This is money in the bank, before he even gets into the exam.
By the way, I used to teach this method of comparison, moving from a point about one poem, and then comparing the same point with the other poem. But this is actually quite difficult.
Because comparison is not actually an assessment objective in this question, I have now changed my advice.
It is much easier to write everything you want from your prepared poem first. Then, write about the other poem, referring back as you go.
In contrast, Hughes portrays nature as powerful in conflict, as the ‘furrows threw up a yellow hare that rolled like a flame’. The graphic imagery similarly demonstrates how violent the nature of conflict is, as the harsh verb ‘threw’ almost contrasts the innocent, ‘rolling’ ‘hare’, implying that conflict is unsympathetic, even to innocent hares. This is further portrayed through the simile ‘rolled like a flame’, which conveys the immense suffering of nature, and simply suggests the fact that war is merciless, just like Exposure. However, in Bayonet Charge, nature is as powerless as man.
Teachers are so worried that the question will be about the power of nature. It has yet to come up.
But Isum shows us once again that it is possible to make what you know fit any question. So he manages to include the effects on nature, even though that is not in the question.
The examiners noticed quite a few students did this badly:
“Many students saw a link between conflict with nature in Exposure and in Bayonet Charge. The former is clear but the consideration of ‘bullets smacking the belly out of the air’ and ‘towards the green hedge’ as attacks on nature were less confident.”
But, like Isum, lots of top students did this very well:
“The other image which students wrestled with was the ‘yellow hare’. Some saw the hare as a symbol of nature and thus further evidence of the war on nature and its destruction.
Some perceptive students went on to link this to the ‘shot-slashed furrows’ identifying the difference between ploughed fields and those savaged by the bullets.
Some students saw the hare as a symbol of death, supported by the gruesome description of the open mouth and staring eyes.”
These feelings with nature are perhaps conveyed as Hughes, grew up in a rural Yorkshire, and grew up around nature, so conveying nature in this way, would be shocking, and consequently he portrays war as heartless.
No marks. Killing people is a lot more shocking.
Imagine you and Ted Hughes transported in a time machine, watching a battle in the trenches, thousands of soldiers cut down, dying, shredded by machine gun fire.
He turns to you and says, “damn this war, it’s completely ruined nature. Where are the birds and the badgers, the foxes and the stoats?”
How would you react to that?
Moreover, both poets convey conflict as monotonous, and almost slowing down time. In Bayonet Charge, Hughes, rhetorically, asks ‘in what cold clockwork of the stars and nations was the hand pointing this second?’ Initially, the plosive consonants in ‘cold clockwork’ not only conveys the sorrowful nature of war, but also demonstrates how the soldier realises that his life is so meagre, and perhaps meaningless. These feelings are perhaps feelings of nihilism, and the mechanical imagery used could reflect Hughes’ history as a mechanic.
The analysis of the quote is very strong.
This is what I call a PEE sentence: “the plosive consonants in ‘cold clockwork’ not only conveys the sorrowful nature of war, but also demonstrates how the soldier realises that his life is so meagre, and perhaps meaningless”. It has 3 explanations about the quote, without writing a huge paragraphs about these. Bosh, bosh, bosh - points make prizes.
The point about nihilism is sweet - but the point about being a mechanic? No marks. Nihilism is the context of the poet’s ideas, and so gets top marks for AO3.
This dehumanisation is also felt by the soldiers in Exposure. However, Owen portrays, more openly nihilistic feelings of conflict, also rhetorically, through ‘is it that we are dying’. Not only does he think the soldiers are dying, but Owen also suggests the brutality of conflict as he suggests that God is not helping and ‘the love of God seems dying’. This is particularly important as Owen was raised a devout Christian and even worked as a vicar. However, through war, he becomes disillusioned with God, which could suggest how his trust in God has been destroyed through conflict – leading to his realisation.
At last, some knowledge about the poet’s life which is 100%, utterly, unambiguously and obviously to do with the meaning of the poem.
This is the only way to use knowledge about the poet.
He also ends some of his stanzas with the refrain, ‘but nothing happens’, [with the consequence that it] juxtaposes all the detailed language previously, and Owen conveys the monotony of war. Also nothing is happening whilst they suffer through pain. Alternatively, Owen could be suggesting that they are not dying, even though they want to, perhaps even reflecting the suicidal thoughts of soldiers at the time.
This paragraph was very difficult to read, and I suspect the examiner won’t have fully understood it either.
However, the last sentence makes complete sense, and links with the idea of nihilism.
Furthermore, in Exposure guns and weapons in conflict are combined as dangerously painful. He describes ‘sudden successive flights of bullets streak the silence’ in which the violence is reflected by the immense sibilance. These very graphic descriptions of not only bullets, but also nature, could be symptoms of his condition with PTSD, as he cannot forget his profound memories from conflict, and consequently, after meeting Siegfried Sassoon (also diagnosed with PTSD) he wanted to shine light on the condition and give it more medical attention that it did not receive.
This is just more of the context the examiner doesn’t like. They will enjoy the PTSD reference, but is Exposure saying the main problem is:
a) War is leaving us traumatised and psychologically damaged, or
b) This war is so awful that we are slaughtered on the battle field, then we are so ill equipped for the weather, that we die of exposure, and even worse, the people at home who claim to love us, care nothing about our fate.
It is b, just in case you are wondering!
However, these ideas of weapons in conflict contrast in Bayonet Charge, as ‘he lugged a rifle, numb as a smashed arm’. The adjective ‘numb’ could have a duality in it, as not only does he lug the rifle so hard that it metaphorically becomes numb, but he could also represent the numbness of the soldiers, as they casually shoot and fire, with no thought.
This is a very successful analysis. This is what the examiners praised:
“Dealing with the ‘cold clockwork of the stars and the nations’ produced a huge range of ideas: the soldier’s heart had become cold; the soldier was the hand pointing out the futility of war; the stars and nations were referencing patriotism.
Particularly successful interpretations were those where the soldier was becoming a robotic, unthinking weapon of war and this was further supported by the rifle ‘numb as a smashed arm’ simply being so much a part of him that it had replaced his arm.
Other ideas about the rifle reference pursued the idea that the soldier was refusing to fight any longer, sometimes linked to ‘lugged’, suggesting a metaphorical reluctance to carry the weight.”
These actions portray the indoctrination of soldiers at the time, as propaganda was being used to brainwash even young 15 to 16–year-olds into joining the army, and both Hughes and Owen try and convey this.
This feels like pointless context, but the thoughtlessness of ‘numb’ can be linked to the lack of thought of those who are persuaded to join up to the war, so it is ok!
However, in Exposure, the harsh reality of conflict is conveyed more as the soldiers being tortured, whilst doing nothing in the trenches, whereas in Bayonet Charge, the soldier is in action, and feels in a conflict. However, similar feelings with the bullets are portrayed as bullets are ‘punching the belly out of the air’, metaphorically Hughes uses auditory imagery of the bullets personifically ‘smacking’ the air to convey conflict as brutal.
In conclusion, both poets convey conflict as negative, they both want to expose the propaganda at the time as fake, and that soldiers should be not be forced into going into war without knowing what they are going into. Hughes had a turbulent time with his wives committing suicide and Owen fought in the trenches, so both poets reflected their disdain and pain towards conflict in these poems.
Yes, another bit of pointless context.
But, one of the advantages of writing over 1100 words is that at least 900 of them are going to get top grades!