This is what the senior AQA examiner said about this essay:
This whole essay is exploratory.
The best Level 6 feature is that it always focuses on Shakespeare’s ideas.
The student also explains a whole range of methods to explore those ideas.
The student is very concise so every word counts.
And each sentence is focused on the question.
The answer shows a deep understanding of themes as well as Shakespeare’s other ideas.
The student cleverly realises that the extract comes from the end of the play, so it makes much more sense to follow Macbeth from the beginning to the end.
Using the plot to structure your answer is always a good idea.
The student chooses quotes very well to back up their argument.
To get full marks, the student needs to include more quotes or references to the play to back up their argument.
As I always say, starting with the extract is waaaay harder than working through the play chronologically.
AQA have lately come to realise this. They know that their question “starting with the extract” is unhelpful. But they won’t change it, as this will be to admit they were stupid to phrase it this way.
Tilf.io
Regular readers will know that I keep testing Tilf.io to see how accurate and useful it is.
It is very accurate with the grade here. Check out the advice it gives, and then my own.
Essay on How Macbeth Changes as a Male Character (the 2023 Question)
(Tilf.io’s comments are in brackets).
Shakespeare presents Macbeth as a character and a male who changes significantly in the play. His character arc begins as a noble thane, reluctant to sin against his king, who then commits regicide before finally being overcome with guilt, and losing all hope.
(This is a strong opening that clearly sets out Macbeth's character arc and foreshadows the discussion of his transformation throughout the play. Well done.)
As you know I recommend a three part thesis. This achieves that.
But I also recommend your thesis explains Shakespeare’s ideas. This just focuses on Macbeth’s character, not on Shakespeare’s reasons for presenting him this way.
Shakespeare introduces him as an honourable warrior, using extreme violence to display his loyalty to King Duncan. We find out he defeats the rebel MacDonwald and “unseamed him from the nave to the chops”, which reveals Macbeth’s bloodlust. This also foreshadows the theme of violence which dominates the play.
(You've effectively highlighted Macbeth's initial presentation as a loyal and violent warrior, and the quotation you've chosen is apt.
However, consider exploring how this initial violence relates to Macbeth's masculinity and the expectations of male characters in the context of the play.)
Yes, this is great feedback from Tilf.io.
Once the Witches tell Macbeth his fate, he hesitates. As a “kinsman and loyal subject” he refuses to commit regicide and embrace sin. However, Lady Macbeth scorns this morality, pushing Macbeth to murder Duncan. She tries to develop his ambition and asks rhetorically, “Was the hope drunk, wherein you dressed yourself?” The accusation of “drunk” tells Macbeth he is foolish for hesitating when he weighs up the “deed” of murder. She suggest Macbeth was merely “drunk” on the thought of becoming king, but is not willing to make the sacrifice necessary to become king.
(You've captured the pivotal moment of Macbeth's hesitation and the influence of Lady Macbeth well.
To strengthen this paragraph, link back to the question by discussing how Macbeth's hesitation and subsequent actions reflect the changing expectations of his role as a male character in the play.)
Yes, again I like Tilf.io’s feedback.
The idea of masculinity requiring action is reflected in his determination to kill Macduff’s family: “From this moment, the very firstlings of my heart shall be the firstlings of my hand.” (Act 4 Scene 1)
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